"I spent eight months in a long-distance marriage": Meet Blessing Smith.

Long-distance relationships are not for the weak. So, what do you call people in a long-distance marriage?

God’s strongest soldiers? Maybe.

Four weeks after popular nutritionist, dance fitness instructor, and brand influencer Blessing Smith got married, her husband had to relocate to Canada.

Blessing was heartbroken. Even though they'd talked about japa-ing before the wedding, and had estimated they’d be reunited after four months at most, it was still very difficult.

In this episode of LoveAbroad with Zole App, Blessing shares how she met her husband, her experience being in a long-distance marriage, and how it feels to finally join her husband in the Canada of their dreams.

Hi Blessing! It is so lovely to meet you!

Thank you so much! Same here.

When I saw your video about joining your husband in Canada after being separated for eight months, I knew I had to reach out.

Oh yes! That reel 😂. Yes oh!

Oh okay. So, how did you guys even meet?

We met on Instagram. In fact, our wedding hashtag was #dmtoforever.

He had been following me for about three years on IG, and one day, he replied to one of the dance videos I posted on my story, saying that they were always nice.

From then on, we started talking casually before he got my number, and now, we’re here 😅.

Whoosh! So, how did you know he was the one?

I think the most important thing for me is that he’s my friend first. We became friends when we started talking.

Then after a while, I knew I'd still want to remain friends even if I didn’t marry him. I felt at peace being with him.

I love that for you! So, when did you get married?

November 2022.

What kind of wedding did you guys have?

The usual traditional and white wedding. But the wedding was way bigger than we planned. It was even all over social media.

Wait, wait, waittttt, you were that Tomike's Cinderella bride!

Yessss 😌

I’m curious! How did that happen?

See, it was a miracle.

So, I had been recording my wedding prep, talking about the emotions and the stress of preparing for a wedding.

One day, close to two months before the wedding, I made a video where I was ranting about needing a stylist, a makeup artist, and a bridal outfit vendor.

I never posted that video but two hours after I made the video, Tomike randomly called me, asked about how the wedding preparation was going and also asked about the things I was yet to buy.

I was skeptical about opening up to her because I don’t like stressing people, lol.

I also didn’t want her to worry about me, but she insisted saying I have been on her mind. That she hadn't had rest since God laid it in her heart to step in and help me cover everything I haven’t paid for.

E shock me die!

It wasn’t even like I reached out to her or anyone about anything. It was as if God opened everything about it to Tomike and gave her all the expo.

Wow! But did Tomike know you before then?

Yeah, she did. But just as her fan. I used to show up at her open events and meet and greets to support her.

I actually really love her. And to be honest, it wasn’t because I wanted anything in return. I never even knew the wedding would play out the way it did.

So, how did she get your number?

Hmm… let me give you the gist. I had been following Tomike on Instagram for a long time and even recreated her wedding dance video some years ago.

That was the first time she noticed me. Also, my husband always knew how much I liked her.

So, while we were still dating in 2019, he contacted her a week before my birthday for a surprise video call.

So she called me on my birthday, and it was so emotional. We were both crying. Haha! But, yeah, that was how our relationship started.

Wow. So it made sense that she reached out when she saw that video about wedding prep?

Yeah. But she didn’t have to do all that. It was just all God’s favor.

Do you know the best part?

It’s sort of a tradition for Tomike every year to do this to pay forward what Late Mama Ibidunni Igodalo did for her. She didn’t do it as an obligation for me—it didn’t feel like that.

She showed up to the fullest. She was present for every outfit fitting and bridal shopping. I even had aso-oke already, but she thought it didn’t match my skin, so she made sure we chose one that did. She paid attention to every detail.

My wedding was two days, and she was there both days. We got our outfits, hair, shoes, everything about me and my husband’s looks for free!

Oh my goodness, that is so sweet.

Yeah, it was! One of the best days of my life for real.

Awww. But did you and your husband discuss relocating to Canada before getting married?

Yesss. It had always been in the plan before we got married.

But did you know whether you’d be going together or not?

We wanted to go together simultaneously, but doing that would increase the chances of being denied because we needed strong home ties to prove we would return to Nigeria after school.

So, to reduce the risk of being denied, we went with our plan B, which was to go separately.

Our research showed that the process would take about four months to complete, and I had resolved it in my mind that it’d take only four months max.

What route did you take? Express entry?

Oh no. He came in as a student while I applied as a spouse on a work permit.

So, how long did the process eventually take?

Hmm. From when he left till I joined him, it took eight months, and from when I applied till I got the visa, it was four months.

Yeah?

Yeah. I applied about a week after he got here, but it didn’t start counting until I could do my biometrics and medicals, and at that time, there was quite a queue that delayed my appointment.

That took how long?

Like over a month, say a month and two weeks. For context, I applied in December, but it didn’t start counting until February.

How did you feel when you had to stay behind?

I tried to be strong for him. I followed him to the airport and stayed very cheerful until he had to board. Then I got back home… and I WEPT.

Awww. That must have been so hard.

It wasssss. And missing him only got worse. Sometimes, I even got fed up waiting for an update on our application. I’d send him our past pictures, saying I missed us. Omo, long-distance marriage isn’t for the weak.

What was long-distance communication like? How did you make it work?

Usually, I don’t like calls. They give me anxiety. So, we made it work via texting most of the time. But I eventually overcame that anxiety, and we started doing more video calls. Overall, good communication really helped.

Did you have any celebrations during that period?

Yeah, my birthday and also Valentine’s Day.

So, how did you guys celebrate despite being apart?

Lol. Even though I told him not to send anything for Valentine’s Day because I wanted to reduce the load I was to travel with, he still surprised me and sent gifts.

Awww. I love it!

Haha

Were you also able to send him gifts?

Oh no. I wasn’t. I couldn’t figure out how to send money to someone there to get him gifts. It all felt like a hassle, so I decided to wait till we could see each other again.

I kept thinking about how to get the gift across to him or even send him money to get something for himself. I really didn’t know how to.

Oh, you could have used the Zole App. Nigerians can now send gifts to their family in Canada through Zole. All you need is the person's phone number.

Oh really. I didn’t know that oh.

Yeahhh. So tell me, how did you feel when you finally got your visa?

It was mixed feelings, to be honest. On one hand, I was excited to see my husband. On the other hand, I was really going to miss the family members I was leaving behind.

Awww. I know how that can feel

Yeahhhh.

Now that you’re together, what are you most excited about?

I’m excited about being with him physically and that we plan our life together in the same space. Yeah, we were planning and dreaming about the future, but it’s different when we see each other face to face.

It is not the same when you’re far from each other. It’s just different. So yeah, I’m excited about being with him here.

Any advice for people in a long-distance marriage?

Honestly, what I’ll say is I know waiting is hard, but just trust God.

For me, getting my visa wasn’t the main miracle. It was the process of waiting that built character in me. At the time, I trusted God so much in the process, and he didn’t fail me.

Beyond getting a visa, it built my faith muscle so much that I know God won't fail me in future trying times.